I've never been big on jokes. Guy walks into a bar and all that. But, I do keep one joke ready to go in case I need it. Every few years, the old joke gets stale and I'll switch it out for a new one.
It was my friend Mike Noe who inspired me to adopt this policy in 1991 and I haven't looked back. Here's the first joke that I used (slightly updated since original use):
A guy and a girl are lying in bed after sex. They're just relaxing and the guy turns to the girl and says, "that was great now get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich".
A little annoyed, the girl says, "Wow. That's more than a little presumptuous."
And so the guy says, "It restores my faith in the public education system when a 12 year old girl knows the meaning of presumptuous. Now, go make that damn sandwich!"
(wait for laughter and applause)
The girl finally responds, "Well, I'm losing my faith in society when a 10 year old boy has such an entrenched chauvinistic attitude."
Ha. Babies having babies. Thanks, Mike.