Instead of Studying

Instead of analyzing the various legal theories on whether an umbrella clause contained in a bilateral investment treaty elevates a breach of contract into a breach of treaty... I decided to locate and watch the best catch I have ever seen...thank you D-Wright. Although the Endy Chavez catch was pretty sweet (but since the mets lost game 7, I cannot make that catch number 1...too many tears).

I was pleasantly surprised to hear Fran Healy's voice on the commentary. I sure do miss that tired old dinosaur, and his 9million references "confidence" in baseball.

Spice Up That Baby

A headline from today's Orlando News reads:

Man Pepper Sprays Infant Son In Face
Police: Never Seen Anything Like It

I guess that they've never heard of this police action and read this quote about it in the Press Statement released by the Portland Chapter of the National Lawyers Guild:

It was clear to me that the police could see that there were young children in strollers within the crowd, yet the police ignored that fact and continued to spray pepper spray indiscriminately so that the spray hit the children and their mothers.

Maybe, the subtitle of the Orlando News article should be - Police: Never Seen Anyone But Other Police Do It

Tips

I'm wondering how people that read this blog feel about tipping and acupuncture. I ask these questions knowing full well that their is probably an entire web site dedicated to the social conventions of tipping.

Should you tip your acupuncturist (does anyone tip their doctor)?

As an acupuncturist, should I accept tips (and by "accept" I mean "not reject" as opposed to "actively elicit")?

Just Embarrasing

I understand that people make mistakes all the time but seriously, confusing Fredrick Douglass with Stephen Douglas is enough to make even the heads of a cable news team hang in shame.

Irony is making fun of your intern's knowledge of history while prominently displaying your own ignorance by confusing one of the most powerful white voices of slaveholders rights with a famous black abolitionist.

Franz Kaftka Rock Opera

I promised my infant brother awhile ago that I'd post this video.

Metaphor fists - Metamorphosis

NPR Mocks Self

One of my favorite things about playing the Grand Theft Auto video games has always been listening to talk radio and now the circle is now complete.

The Pope is Awesome

There's nothing like a visit from his holiness, the pope, to kick off spring. As a once kind of catholic myself, I've always enjoyed the rare opportunities we get to follow the pontiff's zany travails as he wanders across this great land from New York to DC. Yes, far and wide.

But don't you dare think for a second that being the pope is easy. No, heavy is the head that wears the giant ridiculous pope hat. For example, if you were the pope and Bush threw a big birthday party in your honor, would you
a) go but pretend not to be having fun
b) go late and get so smashed that a cardinal has to drive you back to the hotel in the pope mobile
c) go early so that you have plenty of time to make creepy pope eyes at Jenna and Barbara
d) totally not go at all because you heard that Bennigan's gives out free ice cream and sings you a snappy birthday song.

The correct answer is d. Bush, even as the president of the most powerful country in the world, you just got stood up. Yes, it's true and you can read about it at the end of this article.

I was also excited to hear Pope Benedict import his favorite oxymoron to the new world - The Dictatorship of Relativism. Seriously, could you come up with a more nonsensical way of shaking your fist at young people and their confounded modern ways? What's next, The Tyranny of Tolerance?

(Happy Cat Pope via neutralzonetrap)

Please Explain

Will some political spin artist please try their best to explain this discrepancy.

When McCain gets an endorsement from Rev. John Hagee he is happy to get his endorsement, and at the time of the endorsement the news reports the story as McCain building bridges with his conservative base. But compare the conservative criticism, and media reaction to Obama's connection with Jerimiah Wright.

Why does McCain get a free pass? How come the media refuses to ask McCain if he thinks that the people who died in Katrina deserved to die on account of their sinfulness? If you think McCain shouldn't be required to answer for comments made by a "radical" religious leader, well then why does Obama have to answer the SAME EXACT question 1 millon times?

The media dropped the ball on this one big time. Of course, come general election time, the republican election machine will turn the entire general election into: your radical religious pastor is crazier than mine. And of course the democrats will tuck their tale between their legs, attempt to explain and retreat, and very likely lose the election.

Last Chance Caption Contest #3

This contest is nearing an end. Entries thus far:

1.
Young Man: "He has been sleeping for almost 2 days now."
Woman: "Will you please push him out of the train, my hat is starting to quiver..."
Old Man: "POPPYCOCK!! I AM AWAKE. And to prove it I will inspire you with dance.

2.
Young Man: What's that you say, old chap? One million dollars for a night with my wife?
Woman: Honey, please, would you stop trying to whore me out to every creepy old gentleman we meet?
Old Man:zzzzzz...

3.
Young Man: Just sign the papers old man, or the lady here gets it.
Old Man: I will never sell to you, Johnson. By Thor's hammer I shall never betray my family. You know how much that dirt farm means to me.
Young Man: Dammit! You beards are all the same. What with your smooth, bald heads and glimmering spectacles. I will get that dirt, old man! If it means I hunt you down like a scurvy wharf dog I will get it all!
Woman: Stop yelling, Lawrence. Your mustache is flailing.
Young Man: Quiet you!

4.
Young Man: I do beg your pardon, old bean. But, is this perchance the the carriage to...Chattanooga?
Lady: Oh, Reginald. How drole of you.
Old Man: If I rolled my eyes anymore than this, my head would pop off.

5.
Young Man: Tell us again of your visions, Father.
Old Man: I see tubes. Yes, millions of tubes packed with moving images that flow like water. A hindu pygmy dances. A negro baritone sings of processed cocoa precipitation. The future is strange indeed.
Young Man: Make sure you tell that story exactly as you just told it when we get to the sanitarium.

6.
YoungMan: Oh, isn't it wonderful dear? To be seated next to the one and only R.J. Baldinlockes III. Even in his sleep he projects such raw unbridled majesty. I have always dreamed of the opportunity to be in the presence of such greatness.
Lady: Oh word? I think he just farted.
R.Jeezy: Poot!

6.
Young Man: "Hey silly woman, did you hear about the caption contest? I submitted an entry and await my winnings."
Woman: "Well this man submitted so many entries he lost function in his left arm."
Old Man (dreaming): "Damn those grass-fasters! They are so FAST!"

7.
Young man: hey, HEY, Chrome Dome stop crappin in your pants

UPDATE!
Feel free to vote on these if you want. Just remember, this is not a democracy.

The Code of the Comics

If you're like me and interested in the history of comics and the history of censorship in America, you might want to check out a new book by David Hajdu, "The Ten Cent Plague." It about the legislative efforts and the resulting self imposed censorship within the horror comic industry of the 50s. WNYC's "On the Media" has a great interview with Hajdu that's worth a listen.