June 26, 2008

Snipes Line

I'm working on this script for a political thriller. Here's an excerpt:

We join our hero weeks before the November election. The rigors of the campaign weigh heavily on his face as he is wrapping up a difficult press conference. He wipes the sweat from his brow and points to a reporter in the front row.


Senator Obama, we've been circling this issue again and again. Do you really expect to compete in this election, trailing in the polls as much as you are? Why don't you just give up now?

Upon hearing the question, Obama's demeanor changes completely. He appears energised by some hidden force deep within his own psyche.


First, let me ask you a question. Ever played roulette?

REPORTER (a bit taken aback)

On occasion.


Well, let me give you a word of advice. Always bet on half black!

Barak leaps from the podium and punches the reporter directly in his fucking face. There's a flurry of fists and a whirlwind of action with the bodies of reporters flying from the melee like so many rag dolls. Obama emerges from the fray, rallies his base, figures out where McCain is holding the kidnapped Michelle, rescues her and goes on to win the election.

This thing writes itself.

As I originally wrote this joke, the climatic line reads. "Always bet on half white, half black." I thought that betting on black and white at the same time would almost guarantee victory. Yet, as KD quickly pointed out in the comments, roulette wheels actually have black and red pockets not black and white pockets. Obviously, I don't play roulette, even on occasion.

Leave it to me to spend an inordinate amount of time developing a luke warm joke that doesn't even make sense. Incompetence - 1, Theunbeatablekid - 0.

So, with that in mind, I've adjusted the joke. In parting, let me leave you with this piece of advise: Always bet on Kid Dammit!


Anonymous said...

Roulette wheels are red and black, dude. Well, I guess there are also the one or two greens depending on the wheel. So, I guess that your script about the unbeatable 'bama would only make sense if he was Black, Native and a little Irish. Hmm... now who do I know with that deliciously diverse ethnic background...


How come you and Obama are always trying to steal my thunder?


Unknown said...

Obama did get adopted (or at least given a super awesome Native-American name) by the Crow nation awhile back...