Last Chance Caption Contest #3

This contest is nearing an end. Entries thus far:

1.
Young Man: "He has been sleeping for almost 2 days now."
Woman: "Will you please push him out of the train, my hat is starting to quiver..."
Old Man: "POPPYCOCK!! I AM AWAKE. And to prove it I will inspire you with dance.

2.
Young Man: What's that you say, old chap? One million dollars for a night with my wife?
Woman: Honey, please, would you stop trying to whore me out to every creepy old gentleman we meet?
Old Man:zzzzzz...

3.
Young Man: Just sign the papers old man, or the lady here gets it.
Old Man: I will never sell to you, Johnson. By Thor's hammer I shall never betray my family. You know how much that dirt farm means to me.
Young Man: Dammit! You beards are all the same. What with your smooth, bald heads and glimmering spectacles. I will get that dirt, old man! If it means I hunt you down like a scurvy wharf dog I will get it all!
Woman: Stop yelling, Lawrence. Your mustache is flailing.
Young Man: Quiet you!

4.
Young Man: I do beg your pardon, old bean. But, is this perchance the the carriage to...Chattanooga?
Lady: Oh, Reginald. How drole of you.
Old Man: If I rolled my eyes anymore than this, my head would pop off.

5.
Young Man: Tell us again of your visions, Father.
Old Man: I see tubes. Yes, millions of tubes packed with moving images that flow like water. A hindu pygmy dances. A negro baritone sings of processed cocoa precipitation. The future is strange indeed.
Young Man: Make sure you tell that story exactly as you just told it when we get to the sanitarium.

6.
YoungMan: Oh, isn't it wonderful dear? To be seated next to the one and only R.J. Baldinlockes III. Even in his sleep he projects such raw unbridled majesty. I have always dreamed of the opportunity to be in the presence of such greatness.
Lady: Oh word? I think he just farted.
R.Jeezy: Poot!

6.
Young Man: "Hey silly woman, did you hear about the caption contest? I submitted an entry and await my winnings."
Woman: "Well this man submitted so many entries he lost function in his left arm."
Old Man (dreaming): "Damn those grass-fasters! They are so FAST!"

7.
Young man: hey, HEY, Chrome Dome stop crappin in your pants

UPDATE!
Feel free to vote on these if you want. Just remember, this is not a democracy.

Caption Contest #3

The theme for this contest is "A Touch of Class."


Y'all should know the rules by now. Just put some words in people's mouths.

(the painting, "Le Depart En Voyage De Noces" by Pierre Carrier-Belleuse via artrenewal)

Caption Contest 2 Winner

I couldn't pick just one so I combined a couple. There were a lot of great entries for this contest. Thanks everybody.

Last Chance for CC#2

So. It's been awhile but I'm soliciting for more entries two Caption Contest #2. Rename this candy.


Here are the entries thus far:

Candy Name: Chinese Death Balls
Catch Phrase: Import instant death for your dog
Dog: "God damn it!"

-by Diggs

Candy Name: Cracker Ass Cracker Jacks
Catch Phrase: We put the "Cracker" in Cracker Ass Cracker Jacks
Dog: I can't get this nasty taste out of my mouth, and I've been licking my ass all day.

-by KD

Candy Name: Shore Leave Ruffies
Catch Phrase: Try one pretty lady
Dog: Put some sauce in it sailor!

-by theunbeatablekid

Candy Name: DOG BALLS!
Catch phrase: Just like no one used to make
Dog: I got mine!

-by theunbeatablekid

Caption Contest #2

OK, folks. Same as last time. Leave as many entries as you want and do what you want. In this image, you've got the candy name, the catch phrase, and the dog's speech bubble to work with. And anything else you want to add is fair game too.


I'll start 'er off

Candy Name: DOG BALLS!
Catch phrase: Just like no one used to make
Dog: I got mine!

Caption Contest #1 Winner

Well, that wraps it up for Caption Contest #1. Thanks for all of you who entered and for those of you who still want to enter... it's too late. Or enter something now. I don't care.

The winner chosen by our select panel of judges (me) is Recon with his lengthy entry. The prize is the lamest I could think of namely I spent the time to put the caption in the image. Hope you're happy with that because it's all that's forthcoming. And so here it is (click on the pic for the close up view):

Caption Contest #1

In a feeble attempt to encourage reader participation, I do hereby declare the first The Bedford Hillsian Caption Contest (TBHCC) underway. Warm up your brains and sharpen your tongues because here's the first photo:


We got Pinkerton on the right, Lincoln in the middle, and McClernard on the right. For a more detailed version of the photo go here. Leave your entries in the comments. Oh, and some rules. Leave as many entries as you want. For the caption, you can make any or all of the characters speak or just describe the scene (I put the speech bubble over everyone as an example don't let it constain your fertile mind). Good luck, all.

My entries:
#1
Pinkerton: You want a piece of Lincoln? To bad, cuz you gettin a piece a PINKERTON!
#2
Lincoln: The ladies love the top hat and Lincoln loves their bottoms fat.
McClernard: YES, SIR!

(Photo by Alexander Gardner via Library of Congress)