I'm gonna turn this crazy train into a gravy train
December 9, 2007
Caption Contest #3
The theme for this contest is "A Touch of Class."
Y'all should know the rules by now. Just put some words in people's mouths. (the painting, "Le Depart En Voyage De Noces" by Pierre Carrier-Belleuse via artrenewal)
Young Man: Just sign the papers old man, or the lady here gets it.
Old Man: I will never sell to you, Johnson. By Thor's hammer I shall never betray my family. You know how much that dirt farm means to me.
Young Man: Dammit! You beards are all the same. What with your smooth, bald heads and glimmering spectacles. I will get that dirt, old man! If it means I hunt you down like a scurvy wharf dog I will get it all!
Woman: Stop yelling, Lawrence. Your mustache is flailing.
YoungMan: Oh, isn't it wonderful dear? To be seated next to the one and only R.J. Baldinlockes III. Even in his sleep he projects such raw unbridled majesty. I have always dreamed of the opportunity to be in the presence of such greatness.
7 comments:
Young Man: "He has been sleeping for almost 2 days now."
Woman: "Will you please push him out of the train, my hat is starting to quiver..."
Old Man: "POPPYCOCK!! I AM AWAKE. And to prove it I will inspire you with dance.
Young Man: What's that you say, old chap? One million dollars for a night with my wife?
Woman: Honey, please, would you stop trying to whore me out to every creepy old gentleman we meet?
Old Man:zzzzzz...
Young Man: Just sign the papers old man, or the lady here gets it.
Old Man: I will never sell to you, Johnson. By Thor's hammer I shall never betray my family. You know how much that dirt farm means to me.
Young Man: Dammit! You beards are all the same. What with your smooth, bald heads and glimmering spectacles. I will get that dirt, old man! If it means I hunt you down like a scurvy wharf dog I will get it all!
Woman: Stop yelling, Lawrence. Your mustache is flailing.
Young Man: Quiet you!
Young Man: I do beg your pardon, old bean. But, is this perchance the the carriage to...Chattanooga?
Lady: Oh, Reginald. How drole of you.
Old Man: If I rolled my eyes anymore than this, my head would pop off.
YoungMan: Oh, isn't it wonderful dear? To be seated next to the one and only R.J. Baldinlockes III. Even in his sleep he projects such raw unbridled majesty. I have always dreamed of the opportunity to be in the presence of such greatness.
Lady: Oh word? I think he just farted.
R.Jeezy: Poot!
Young Man: "Hey silly woman, did you hear about the caption contest? I submitted an entry and await my winnings."
Woman: "Well this man submitted so many entries he lost function in his left arm."
Old Man (dreaming): "Damn those grass-fasters! They are so FAST!"
Young man: hey, HEY, Chrome Dome stop crappin in your pants
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